Capitalizing on what comes easily is how successful people tend to get ahead. It’s also part of the success story that’s often left out because it’s almost impossible to talk about without it becoming misconstrued.
Successful people don’t work hard (that word, “hard,” has the wrong connotation). Successful people don’t keep throwing effort at dead ends. They also don’t force what’s nonviable, ineffective, or just simply not working out. They work consistently where they see the most results, and the reason they are able to work so often—usually much more than their peers—is because the work comes somewhat naturally to them. If it didn’t, they’d be exhausted, burned out, and left with minimal results.
Conventional wisdom tells you not to give up—ever, no matter what. But people tell you all the time that good things tend to happen when you stop trying so hard to make them happen. The most popular relationship advice is that our partners will show up when we stop looking for them. For many couples, the moment they stop trying to get pregnant is the moment they conceive.
When you try to force happiness, it eludes you. If you don’t, it tends to happen on its own. The work you end up doing in your life is almost never Plan A; it’s Plan B, which is what you started doing when you gave up on what didn’t come naturally. When you try not to think about something—like a white elephant—it’s all you can focus on. The more you try to avoid something, the more you see it everywhere. The more you try to grip a fist full of dry sand, the faster it slips through your fingers.
